Sunday, September 11, 2011

Momma's Girl

My heart broke this morning when I heard her. It was a sound that I hadn't heard before but I knew what it was. I knew when I put my hand on that door knob what I would find when I opened her door. I ran to Lizzy begging her to snap out of it. I sang to her, pleaded with her, rubbed her back, put my hands through her messy hair, but knew it would take a minute. I scooped her up and rocked her telling her that she was momma's girl. "I love you, sweetheart."

As her body slowly stopped jerking and the grunting stopped, I cried. Lizzy cried. That nasty seizure lasted about a minute, but felt like an hour. "I'm sorry babygirl, momma's right here." I am not a superstitious person, but this morning, I felt like I had jinxed it. Telling several people it had been about four months since her last seizure. I was mad at myself. I decided that keeping her home from church would be best.  Usually, she is really tired after a grand-mal seizure and needs to just sleep. It took a lot out of her and it broke my heart.

We had a friend birthday party for Lizzy's sister, Emily, tonight. I overheard one of her friends say that he wasn't afraid of the girl on her hand and knees making animal noises. That hurt too. Pray for us tonight.


Goodnight. God Bless!

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