You know how you have "hi's and low's" of your life? Well, I have been struggling with the low's of this life. As a parent of a child with disabilities, you go through waves of mild to severe depression. I have been struggling with this for years. Lizzy is a beautiful girl and I am so thankful for her. But. Yes, there is a but. She is not going anywhere. We built our home to accommodate her here for the rest of her life. Sigh. I have connected with a family that has three grown daughters. Their oldest is 31 and has CP. A severe case. Her name is Betsy. Cheryl (the mom) and I have been emailing each other for a couple of months mainly with my questions about how her life is now. She and her husband take care of Betsy. Well, he also works outside the home. They don't EVER get away. Ever. Who would take care of Betsy that would be willing to be with her 24/7 for a few nights? That will be Damon and I in 15 years. Our life will be.....Lizzy. It isn't something I am smiling about. It's something that I have become depressed about. Let's just be honest here. Anyone wanting to take care of a handicapped child when they are older.....raise your hand! Even a child that is completely normal.....anyone? Children are meant to leave their parents. And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Matthew 19:5 (NIV)
I feel like I have been given this gift of seeing what is coming for us. God has placed Cheryl in my life for a specific reason. It is possible to care for your child until our Heavenly father decides it's time. I get a little excited to type those words....it's time. Those words mean so much to me. When "it's time" for Lizzy......she will see. She will walk. She will speak!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have taken no photos of Lizzy this week and I feel bad about that. My doctor has decided that it was time she prescribe me an anti-anxiety medication. She says "Lisa, you have done this for years without medication, its okay." I feel defeated.
Cerebral Palsy doesn't just affect the person, it affects the whole community that person is in. I am so thankful for Cheryl. I can't wait until we meet. I have a hug for you that may linger for sometime! God bless YOU Cheryl!
Sorry for the lapse in posts. Life has been happening!