My life changed......in 1999. I had just finished my student teaching and was offered a position teaching 4th grade. My husband and I were looking to buy our first house and life seemed to be rolling along perfectly. I was just a few months pregnant and thought life couldn't get any better than this. We had so much to look forward to.
So why did my life have to change? Why did I feel like God was saying it was time to stop trusing people? Time to start feeling like we lost something. Was this his plan? For me to be so angry? Why couldn't she just have been delivered earlier? Why? How could this possibly enrich our lives?
There are no words other than "I just can't believe it" that come from your mouth when your life changes. You become numb to everything and you walk around in a fog. There are several life changing occurences that make you feel this way. Here are a few:
- losing a job
- a death
I understand that a baby changes your life anyway, but having a child with disabilities is a bit more complicated. Therapies, equipment, specialists, medications, etc. This was not the little family unit that I envisioned when I went into the hospital to have her.
But God has been faithful. He has walked with us through the hurt. Sometimes, it felt like it was too much to bear. He has constantly shown to be faithful in his promises. His promise of never leaving us. God loves me and I feel his love and his presence more when I am holding Lizzy.
Here are the lyrics to Britt Nicole's song "The Sun Is Rising". When you feel like your life has changed and God has deserted you, read these words. You can find the song here.